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De-escalation Conversation Basics

Calm tense situations with communication

This guide teaches simple verbal de-escalation: staying composed, reflecting feelings, offering choices, and setting clear, respectful limits.

Regulate yourself first

Keep voice low and pace slow; take breaths to avoid matching anger.

Listen and reflect

Use short reflective statements to show understanding without agreeing or arguing.

Offer simple choices

Present two reasonable options to restore a sense of control.

Set respectful limits

State boundaries clearly and calmly; pause if safety feels at risk.

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